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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
When the new battle pass comes out
Yeah.
(LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
I think you're bleeding us dry, is what I think you're doing.
(GASPS)
a lube or something? A magazine?
I can make this company a billion dollars.
Johnny, please, just help me do this. Okay?
Why don't you come down and make me, tough guy?
How come you don't have a guy?
Please follow the instruction, Mr. Clubber Lang.
Oh. Can we have that one?
Instead you're
if we were even caught.
Clockwise rim job. Counterclockwise rim job!
and my sperm count's a little low.
Johnny, wake up.
I See.
It's right there for anyone to see.
TED: 9/11.
Fuck!
They said I'm property.
Look, I wasted six years of my life
Yes, I told you, I'm clean, all right? Your baby's gonna be fine.
You sick bastard look at this Molly stomach growl
Pull yourself together, for God's sakes.
Well, everybody says you're the best in town.
And that's all that's important.
Listen, Johnny, I wanna tell you how sorry I am.
Why? Nobody here likes you!
Yeah. You were wrong.
It's around back. All right. Yeah.
What?
No, no, honey, honey, they're classy, they're not like us.
In those images,
Oh no! Quick To The Mauna Kea
What?
Oh, no. Poor little guy.
"Justice."
That was fucking classic!
What are you doing here? Who are you?
Ted.
That's a hard sell, even for me.
"How Long Has That Van Been There?"
I'll drive. You can take a nap.
Why? So you can give me shit about my clothes?
I HAE
When you're a person, that's a felony.
Oh, Johnny, come on, man.
God damn it!
(SOFT LAUGHTER)
Oh. No way! (CHUCKLES)
years after the fact.
Oh, my God! It's in my eyes!
Fresh cakes.
Well, what the hell are you doing looking at my private shit?
and see if I can stop by tonight.
What are you doing to that bear?
Holy shit!
Hey, spaz.
you were an employee at Hasbro from 1976 to 1998. Is that correct?
Yes, I'm aware of the story.
Is that him?
So what do you say? Can you get me my life back?
Who's Gollum?
I'm so happy! is he gonna be OK, Gill?
Tami-Lynn, because of your history of excessive drug use
Yeah.
Well, I guess it's all right. Those are the rejected sickle-cell samples-
I'm out.
Oh!
The rocket ship just hit him!
Insomnia when he asks someone To follow him
The state official I spoke to
We got two hours of driving left and I'm kind of beat.
Crikey!
Do you, Tami-Lynn McCafferty,
Hey!
Guy?
This is quite a victory for you.
Fine! Fine! Go torture that asshole!
Hey, Johnny! You did it!
Let's make a baby! Let's make a baby!
Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party?
It's everybody else's fault, Mary Decker!
You know what? If anyone can get this verdict overturned, it's him.
It reminds me of the strain I smoked
So what do ya say?
Will you just listen to me for one second?
Please, the War on Drugs is a joke.
Fuckin' A right, I do!
One?
but she was always just trying to change me
And I tried, you know?
Honestly, I don't know.
(IN KID'S VOICE) I'm sorry!
I'm afraid I have bad news.
and she's probably still fucking billing us!
Yeah, besides, that was five years ago. She's clean.
And you're not a cheater. I mean, I think your balls are perfect.
And think how awesome the baby will be.
Uh, about a mile-and-a-half.
What, you went to Arizona State?
Aah! Hold Still!
You're on the stand, the DA says,
It seems like every time you go online,
Fuck
Okay, I heard "Starbucks." TED: No, you didn't.
You are literally pop culture illiterate.
Yes!
the War on Drugs and all that shit?
Yeah, I've had to do some things I'm not proud of.
teacher teach school school
FEMALE REPORTER: Ted!
lol bich
That's just like me. That's exactly what I'm going through.
I don't know. But it's gonna be okay.
I'll see you in heaven, Ted.
Oh, what am I acting like, Tami?
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear that. Could you repeat that, please?
You're going to learn to say your name.
He's gonna love it. Go, go, go!
(SINGING) I'm steppin' out with my honey
Okay.
Aah! Get It Out!
I'm not into it.
(SIREN BLARING) (TIRES SCREECH)
The precedent it sets would affect the public directly.
I've been following him around since yesterday.
Yes, we have, Your Honor. (CLEARS THROAT)
Really?